By Kim H. Newland, Tulalip News
Young children are told not to fear the monsters under their beds and many families hang Native American dream-catchers to capture the dark spirits that haunt their children’s sleep. According to Lakota legend, the first dream-catcher was crafted as a lesson by Iktomi, a trickster and shape shifting spirit who had taken the form of a spider. Using a hoop made of willow, the spider wove his web as a filter that allowed good thoughts to pass through while trapping the evil forces determined to cause harm. Placed above the sleeping area, the dream-catcher served to reassure the child that their good dreams would travel down the feathers to reach them as they slept while the bad dreams and spirits would get caught up in the web and vanish when touched by the morning light.
Tragically, for those suffering from anxiety, depression and suicidal hopelessness, the demons that haunt them are rarely vanquished with the daylight, leaving their loved ones desperate to reach them with a message of reassurance and comfort.
When it comes to communication, Kay Feather, a licensed mental health counselor at the Behavioral Health and Family Services Center advocates for what she calls the “cup of hot cocoa” approach. Sometimes simply being present and “listening with your heart” can make a big difference. “Go for a drive, share a cup of cocoa, step-in and share your concern,” Feather suggests. A gentle, nurturing approach can serve as an effective place to begin a conversation. Even a “presence-filled silence” can serve to validate feelings and offer the “respect of the moment.”
Family and community traditions are the very foundation of holiday celebrations and sometimes serve as a painful reminder of loss and grief, especially for young tribal members who share an enduring connection to their ancestors and larger extended families. While the holidays can be a time for heavy reflection, they also offer an opportunity to positively connect with friends and family to check-in on their emotional well-being.
Being mindful and watching for warning signs of depression or suicidal ideation can help save a life and serve to help weave a web of safety and security for those struggling with the monsters under the bed and the monsters inside their heads.
Suicide warning signs from The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
- Talking about wanting to die or kill themselves.
- Looking for a way to kill themselves, such as searching online or buying a gun.
- Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live
- Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain.
- Talking about being a burden to others.
- Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs.
- Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly.
- Sleeping too little or too much.
- Withdrawing or isolating themselves.
- Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge.
- Displaying extreme mood swings.
For more information on depression and suicide contact Tulalip Tribes Behavioral Health Family Services at (360) 716-4400 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255. For emergency intervention, dial 911.