Caroline Marie Glendale who resided on Tulalip Reservation passed on 8.25.2021, peacefully in her sleep with Guardian Angels around her in Everett, Washington. Caroline Marie Enick Glendale was born on September 10, 1948 in Mount Vernon, Washington.
She went to school in Wapato Washington. During her earlier years in life she played league pool and won championship with many friends from the Tulalip area. She also did some cosmetology classes with Evergreen Beauty School, but later decided she was skilled enough and quit. Yes, a Beauty school drop out! Caroline worked many years at the Tulalip Resort & Snoqualmie Casino Food and Beverage Departments. As she progressed in her life she was always under a biblical teaching of her parents James and Evelyn Enick. At a very young age she was a born singer that turned into a ministry in the Pentecostal church. During her time of travelling with her parents she led worship service and her brothers Braddock and Johnny Enick would play guitar for her. The power of God would fall on her through her singing and many would feel the presence in the room. She would witness and minister on the streets of Wapato and their local radio station about the love of the lord with her dad. She would go to local prisons and minister to inmate of what the lord could do for them. She travelled to many states like Oregon, California, Montana, Idaho, New Mexico and Arizona, and into Canada spreading the good word of the Lord. On some of these revival travels she would bring the Sweet Melodies that was her nieces and nephew!
Through this life she has created many friends and grew her family whom she loved and always had prayer chains on her FB account or text messages. This will be missed. Caroline is preceded in death by, her parents James & Evelyn Enick, her husband Isaac Glendale of Alert Bay, BC., sister Betty Jean Joe (Robert), brothers Jerry, Brad & John Enick, Brother in Law Adrian Henry, Sr., nephews Roger Enick, James M Enick, Robbie & Arron Garcia, niece Ami Pablo.
Caroline is survived by her Sisters Arlene (David) Ventura, Winifred Enick, Sandra (Percy) Phillips, Jr., Cheryl Enick-Tovar(Dan) Marilyn Henry eldest daughter Jolene (Steven) Williams, Son Brian K Jack, Sr., youngest daughter Melinda Enick, Granddaughters Rebecca Wadhams(Jon Stevens), Jaida Maltos (Jordan Wasko Sr.) Lachelle Tracy, Saige Williams, and Shylaya Jack, Grandsons Jordan Wadhams, Brian ER Jack Jr., Alva Damien, Steven & Michael Williams, Chaanc Guzman, Mannassah Losik, Michael Tracy Jr., Toren Jack, great grand children Janessa, Joshua, Justice, Jewels, Ariella, Camaya, Penelope, and Jordan Jr (Bubba) God daughters, Julia Bruce, Mary Wadhams, Elizabeth Joseph (Lil Bit). And the Sweet Melodies! Many nephews, nieces and cousins.
Visitation will be held Thursday, Sept. 2, 2021 from 8:30 AM – 9:30 AM at Schaefer-Shipman Funeral Home in Marysville, WA. The funeral service will follow from 10:00 AM – Noon. Burial will be at Fall City Cemetery in Fall City, WA.
By Kalvin Valdillez; photos courtesy of Faith Iukes
Next time you are screen-scrolling on your favorite app, whether it’s YouTube, Facebook, Instagram or TikTok, do yourself a favor and search for the username @faith.iukes11. You will find a number of videos and photos that are guaranteed to brighten your day and boost your serotonin levels, all created by a Tulalip entrepreneur who is making quite the name for herself at the young age of 12.
“My name is Faith Iukes. I’m 12 years old and I work on social media,” she proudly beamed. “I vlog myself every day and I basically share my everyday life.”
Showcasing stunning camera work and an amazing on-screen presence, Faith is practicing an art that Native peoples have passed through the generations since time immemorial, storytelling. Bringing the tradition to present-day digital platforms, Faith utilizes her gift of storytelling just as her ancestors did before her, documenting the times and culture, making others laugh and smile, and teaching her peers, the next generation, how to be a voice for the people.
With wisdom beyond her years, she passionately shared, “If we are not preparing our youth to become successful, we are not preparing the world for the next group of leaders.”
A natural-born go-getter, Faith creates opportunities by simply being herself, giving the world a first-hand look at what growing up on the Tulalip reservation looks like. Faith’s love for her family, community and homelands shines in each of her videos and photos, whether that’s participating in community events, using a drone to record all the scenic views Tulalip has to offer, or sharing screen time with her friends and family on her daily vlog.
When asked about some of her favorite highlights of her blossoming career, she quickly stated, “Sometimes I do food reviews with my sisters! I love my family and I love social media. This is something that I’ve always wanted to do and when I was younger, I just wasn’t ready yet. COVID came around and my great-grandma passed. Everyone in my family was so sad, I thought I could use this to bring a smile to everybody’s face, so I got on YouTube.”
Not only is she a rising social media star, Faith also possesses impressive filming and editing skills, and she is just as talented behind the camera as she is on-screen. Everything she has created to-date has been self-taught. Through YouTube how-to videos, she learned all of her cutting, sequencing and scoring techniques and she already has a vast knowledge of how to use industry-standard editing software programs such as Adobe Lightroom.
Faith’s father, William Iukes, has also been instrumental in her social media journey so far. In addition to helping her map out her goals, recording additional footage, and learning editing skills to help out when he can, he’s also taken on the role of her manager and helped land her a number of partnerships with other Indigenous artists, creatives, musicians and organizations, ensuring he’s doing everything he can in order for his daughter to exceed her goals.
“She’s bringing a positive message to a lot of our kids out here, especially in Indian Country,” he shared. “The one thing she is really into is helping people with the success she’s getting. Her success is their success. We’ll be at Walmart or somewhere and kids will run up to her, say hi and ask for a selfie. And when they ask how do I become who you are, she stops and tells them, ‘this is who I am and this is what I do. You can do the same thing, you just have to keep believing who are and keep thriving to be the best you.’ That is something that I’m very proud of as a father.”
Faith’s hard work is on display in all of her productions and has helped build her personal brand, leading to several partnerships and collaborations. Currently, Faith is sponsored by the local Native clothing company, Salish Style. She was also given an official title as media journalist for Rise Above, an Indigenous non-profit that was established to promote healthy lifestyles and empower Native youth through sports. In fact, she recently attended a Rise Above basketball camp where she got the chance to meet and interview Seattle Seahawk Doug Baldwin.
“I asked him, how much does giving back to the youth mean to him and what inspired him to work with Rise Above. He said it was me, because his daughter watches me. I thought that was really exciting because it wasn’t expected, it was shocking and it made me happy,” she expressed.
During that same basketball camp, she also met representatives of the newly established NHL hockey team, the Seattle Kraken, and she now has plans to work with the team throughout their first season. Also in the works, a future collaboration with Native rappers and actors, Lil’ Mike & FunnyBone, who first gained popularity on America’s Got Talent and are currently starring in the hit TV show, Reservation Dogs.
William stated that Faith is not one to get caught up in the numbers and stats such as the amount of views, clicks, reaches, shares, followers and subscribers, but those numbers continue to climb on the daily. At the time of her sit-down with Tulalip News, Faith said she had a goal to reach 600 subscribers on YouTube and 10,000 followers on TikTok. Her father, who has to follow the numbers as her manager, shared she wasn’t too far off from achieving that goal. Not too long after the interview, she surpassed those numbers. And after this article is published, with your help, she can continue to grow her following, with a simple click of a follow/subscribe button. And in return, you’ll get the opportunity to say that you have followed thee Faith Iukes since the beginning of her career, as she continues to grow and spread good vibes and positivity through her social medias.
Keeping true to one of her main goals of sharing all her self-taught knowledge and skills with other Indigenous youth, a key reason to why she began her influencer journey, Faith shared, “If you want to be a YouTuber but you don’t know how, you don’t need a fancy computer or camera. When I started I only had an iPhone and a rubber ice tray for a tri-pod. You can go out, have fun, be yourself and try your best.”
End of summer signals the official kick-off for the back to school season. In Tulalip, that means Positive Youth Development’s always highly anticipated, annual ‘Back To School Bash’.
Local school-aged children descended to the Reservation’s centrally located Youth Center by the hundreds in order to collect essential school supplies, hygiene kits, and gather information from a variety of community resource booths. The students and their families were eagerly greeted by community friends and a number of educators from Marysville School District who could hardly contain their excitement at finally being reunited with their kids, some of whom they hadn’t seen in person in over a year.
“In my role as both a mom and educator, I’ve attended Tulalip’s back to school event for the last fifteen years,” said Tulalip tribal member Chelsea Craig. “It’s always grounded me as a mother to have access to all the resources the Tribe has to offer, but also the connections with Marysville School District and the outer community. Anytime we can bring together our tribal community with those around us in a positive way, it’s an opportunity to provide healing and create new relationships that can foster true understanding.
“A great memory from today has to be meeting a family who has been completely online since their kids started kindergarten last year,” continued the recently promoted Quil Ceda Elementary assistant principal. “This family had zero in-person contact with our school staff until today. To be able to introduce ourselves and help ease their minds about the transition back to face-to-face learning was priceless.”
The annual Bash looked a little different minus the usual backpack giveaway. However, Youth Development staff were on hand to walk families through a number of financial aid opportunities to receive critical funds for school supplies and other education related costs. Those forms are conveniently located on the website TulalipYouthServices.com
Youth lined up to receive a fresh haircut, to fill their bellies with a BBQ lunch, and to meet all kinds of community resource representatives who can assist them on their educational journey. For the students and their families new to the Tulalip area or the school district, this event was a perfect welcoming.
“After signing up my kids for school, they emailed us a flyer for this event. I think this is so beneficial because my kids really needed the things that are being provided,” shared Puyallup tribal member Angel Berry. She recently moved to the area and looks forward to her three kids attending schools with such a strong connection to Native peoples. “We’ve only been in the area for a few weeks, so this is a good opportunity for us to integrate into the community.”
Among the Bash’s many activities offered were a game of kickball, a BMX demonstration at the skate part, a photo booth, and an immersive petting zoo featuring a baby kangaroo and farm animals. Ever-popular among the tiny tots was a balloon artist who couldn’t buy a break from nonstop requests for light sabers, flower bouquets, and household animals.
New to this year was a full on scholastic book fair. Regardless of reading level or age, students from pre-school up to high school senior could be seen perusing the paperback offerings in search of the perfect end of summer reading material.
“Our goal was to bring everyone together in the best way that we could, in the safest way possible, so our membership could access the resources that they may need for the upcoming school year,” reflected Youth Development manager Josh Fryberg. “We partnered with so many departments from Tribal Government and Marysville School District to make this event happen. Weather it was something simple like getting your kid a haircut or updating their tribal ID, or needing help applying for Covid relief funds and speaking to a local school representative, so many left here satisfied and optimistic for the first day of school. This is what the power of community is all about.”
Seventy-sevin students completed their academic journey at the Betty J. Taylor Early Learning Academy on the evening of August 20th. The future leaders celebrated their graduation with a parade. The kids excitedly waved at their loved ones and teachers, who held up signs and cheered, as they drove through the early learning academy parking lot for one last ride. Come Fall, they will begin a new educational experience at elementary school.
TELA went all out for their graduates and created cedar headbands, Paddling to Kindergarten t-shirts and paper cut-out paddles for the kids to wear and showcase during the ceremony.
“I have to give so many kudos to all of our teachers and all of our leadership team who worked on this event because they outdid themselves in making all of the children feel special in their graduation,” said TELA Director, Sheryl Fryberg. “They’re paddling to kindergarten and they are so excited and happy. I think the families absolutely love the graduation ceremony this way and I saw them share so many happy smiles and laughter with their kids.”
She continued, “This is one of their big milestones. That leap from birth-to-three to pre-school was big but this is huge, where they’re leaving us and moving on to that kindergarten classroom where it’s a totally different world. We’re really excited that we could be a part of it.”
Congratulations to all the graduates and good luck in kindergarten!
By Micheal Rios; Collection curated by staff of the Tacoma Art Museum
Since time immemorial, Native artists have expressed the cyclical nature of their culture and unique relationship to the world around them via a vast assortment of mediums available at any given time. This connection continues to evolve in the breathtaking artwork put forth by the current generation of Native creatives. From woodcarving and basketry to jewelry making and painting, an essence of the ancestors’ resiliency is felt in new waves of indigenous artistry proudly pushing their culture forward.
Some artists carve or weave following traditions dating back generations, using the same methods and materials their ancestors used. Others have adapted modern day technology to push the bounds of painting and printmaking to explore culture shifting concepts. Such is the case with today’s formline landscape.
Often, when people think of Native art of the Northwest Coast, they think of formline. An artistic style thought to originate from the first peoples of northern British Columbia and Alaska, formline is characterized by free-flowing thick and thin lines often used in combinations of U-shapes, S-shapes and flattened ovals called ovoids. Most commonly rendered in bold black and red colors, these designs often depict animals and cultural spirits on story poles, hand carved paddles and masks, and most recently t-shirts and fine art prints.
Artwork showcasing the distinct Coast Salish formline style became popular during the Alaska gold rush in the 1890s and the Alaska-Yukon-Pacific exhibit in 1909. The demand for formline continued as the prime choice for public exhibitions and private collections at the same time the Pacific Northwest region saw a dramatic boom in development and residency. As the greater Seattle area continued to develop into a tourism hotbed, the formline style eclipsed all other styles indigenous to the region.
Since the explosion of formline onto the mainstream art scene, countless culturally inclined Native peoples from the Northwest Coast have developed their passion for creativity in an era known as Salish Modern. Tuning their skilled artisan abilities to fulfill the demand for popular formline, the latest wave of Coast Salish artists have infused the art world with innovative prints combining storytelling, powerful cultural reflections, and vibrant Native flare. Such are the prints we offer our readers now.
Dubbed ‘Salish imPRINTS’, this collection is created by artists who call the Salish Sea home and is intended to inspire the inner artist in everyone, while enhancing relevant conversations about a shared past, present and future.
Submitted by Jeanne Steffener, Tulalip Tribes Higher Ed
The Delta variant appears to be the dominant coronavirus strain in the United States today. This virus is highly transmissible. “Data suggests that vaccinated people maybe able to spread infections caused by the highly transmissible variant.”1 CDC Director, Rochelle Walensky told reporters in July that “The good news is that all three coronavirus vaccines authorized in the United States offer strong protection against severe disease and death from covid-19, the disease caused by the virus. Preliminary data from several states over the past several months suggests that 99.5 percent of covid-19 related deaths occurred among unvaccinated people.”
So, what does this mean for colleges and universities hoping to return to the classroom in the fall? In less than a month, students are planning to go back to school as colleges/universities attempt their first in-person classroom sessions in over a year and a half, since March 2020. However, a nationwide surge in the Delta variant looms heavy and is complicating future plans. Since the variant is so contagious, higher ed institutions are watching it closely. In Washington State, Governor Jay Inslee recently ordered all employees at state public colleges to get vaccinated against Covid-19 with the Delta variant surging throughout the United States, targeting the unvaccinated and children. “Early Research suggests the Delta variant is about 50 percent more contagious than the Alpha variant, which was first identified in the United Kingdom and became the predominant variant in the United States during the spring”2 of 2020.
Colleges are eager to resume classes in Autumn, 2021 after having to revamp what school looks like and they have been bringing online learning to students as an alternate delivery system while the virus and variants continue to assault and kill people around the world. Due to the deadly severity of the Delta variant of coronavirus, more colleges are giving out incentives and penalties in their efforts to get students and staff vaccinated before the beginning of the fall term. According to Yale Medicine: “A major worry right now is Delta, a highly contagious SARS-CoV-2 virus strain, which was first identified in India in December. It swept rapidly through that country and Great Britain before reaching the U.S., where it is now the predominant variant.”3 Washington State is among a growing list of colleges and universities mandating proof of vaccination for the fall 2021 term to keep themselves and others safe.
“WASHINGTON STATE: Central Washington University, Clover Park Technical College, Eastern Washington University, Evergreen State College, Gonzaga University, Heritage University, Highline College, Pacific Lutheran University, St. Martin’s University, Seattle Colleges (Central, North, South), Seattle University, Seattle Pacific University, Spokane Community College, Spokane Falls Community College, Tacoma Community College, University of Puget Sound, University of Washington (Tacoma, Bothell, Seattle), Washington State University, Wenatchee Valley College, Western Washington University, Whitman College, Whitworth University”,4 including Washington State Community Colleges. The complete list of schools throughout the United State can be found at: https://universitybusiness.com/state-by-state-look-at-colleges-requiring-vaccines/. Students should check with their schools about the specific requirements of that institution.
The Higher ED Team is ready to assist you on your educational journey. You can either call us at 360-716-4888 or email us at email@example.com for more information for Fall 2021 term.
“What you need to know about the highly contagious delta variant” by Lindsey Bever, Joel Achenbach, Kim Bellware and Lateshia Beachum. August 18, 2021. Read more at: https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2021/07/07/delta-variant-covid/
“What you need to know about the highly contagious delta variant” by Lindsey Bever, Joel Achenbach, Kim Bellware and Lateshia Beachum. August 18, 2021. Read more at: https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2021/07/07/delta-variant-covid/
“5 Things to Know About the Delta Variant” by Kathy Katella. August 18, 2021. Read more at: https://www.yalemedicine.org/news/5-things-to-know-delta-variant-covid
“State-by-state look at colleges requiring Covid-19 vaccines”. August 10, 2021 Read more at: https://universitybusiness.com/state-by-state-look-at-colleges-requiring-vaccines/
With the Delta variant of the coronavirus spiking across Kitsap County and Washington state, the Suquamish Tribe held a scaled-down version of Chief Seattle Days over the weekend. There were just a handful of the usual number of events, and the occasion was open to Tribal households only.
“We missed hosting the larger community, as we normally do,” said Suquamish Tribe Chairman Leonard Forsman. “Hospitality is an important part of our culture, and Chief Seattle Days has grown into playing a big role in that joy of connecting with our community. But we had to put the safety of our Tribal citizens first.”
Concern about safety has grown as Kitsap County has seen higher numbers of infected and hospitalized than at any other time since the pandemic began.
Within the Tribe, vaccination rates are above 70 percent, says Emergency Operations Manager, Cherrie May. Still, with school about to begin, and children age 11 and under still unable to receive vaccination protection, concerns have grown.
Last year, the 2020 Chief Seattle Days was all but cancelled due to the pandemic. To keep the tradition alive, however, Suquamish Elder Marilyn Wandrey spoke to the Tribal community by video message offering reflections at Chief Seattle’s gravesite.
This year, the Tribe brought back some of the key events, but permitted limited numbers and were mostly for Tribal households only. This year’s events included:
The Chief Seattle Days Golf Tournament, on Thur. August 19, at the White Horse Golf Club with dozens of teams playing at this 10th anniversary event.
Ceremony at Chief Seattle’s Gravesite, on Sat. August 21, a long-standing honoring of Chief Seattle, with Tribal Elder Marilyn Wandrey presiding. The ceremony was for Tribal households and ceremony staff, and live streamed for those who could not attend in person.
Salmon meals were served “to go” to Tribal members on Sat. August 21 at the House of Awakened Culture.
Royalty Pageant – With the cancellation of most events at Chief Seattle Days 2020, the 2019 Royalty had generously continued their duties until this weekend. The princess and her entourage were finally able to turn over their crowns at a ceremony on Saturday. For the coming year, Teylor Matysn Ives will serve as the royalty court’s Junior Miss Chief Seattle Days.
Suquamish Canoe Races – Suquamish youth took their swift “war canoes” out on the water off shore from the House of Awakened Culture. The races were live streamed in heated competitions. Normally, racing teams from First Nations and Native communities throughout the region would join in, but this year’s race was limited to Suquamish Tribal members with family members in attendance.
Looking Forward to 2022
The Suquamish Tribe hopes to open Chief Seattle Days to the larger community again in 2022.
“We are grateful and appreciative of the relationships people have created within Suquamish and the surrounding communities,” says Lisa Jackson, who organized this year’s event. “We had to keep this gathering small for safety. But we are looking forward to hopefully welcoming many more people in 2022.”
Radiant energy beamed from a group of artists on a late summer Saturday afternoon. Collectively working on a large masterpiece, they shared bubbly conversation as their brushstrokes left behind vibrant colors on a canvas that consisted of four panels. The artists zoned-in on the task at hand while Indigenous music blasted out of a boombox. Inside of a storage shed on a large property in Stanwood, their workspace serves as a pleasant escape from the busy world, a creative environment they get to enjoy on a near-weekly basis.
“I experience pure relaxation. It’s very therapeutic,” said artist Jeanie Skerbeck. “It opens my mind to things I need my mind opened to. When I’m in a bad mood, I like coming here to paint. And I’ll tell you what, when I leave, I’m always in a good mood.”
Over the past few months, several Tulalip Healing Lodge residents have contributed their time, creativity and artistry to a collaborative project that many locals will get a chance to see in-person upon completion. Though plans on where have yet to be finalized, the traveling mural project will more than likely be on display at a location near you in the upcoming months.
Although it is still a work-in-progress, the mural is a meaningful project that already holds a special place in the hearts of each artist who picked up paint brush and left their imprint on the canvas so far. Utilizing their creativity to express their story in detail, the painters found an outlet and a new form of expression that they can use as a tool during their recovery journey.
“It’s going to be big, I love being a part of this,” exclaimed Tulalip artist, Ambrose Alexander James Jr. “I thought that I was just coming out here with my fellow comrades to keep them upbeat, but I decided to participate and it’s changing who I am. I never did this before, but my grandpa told me art brings out your true spirit and who are. I’d like to learn all that I can because he tried to teach me before, but I never experienced what he was talking about until now, that I got two years sober.”
Numerous studies have proved that art therapy has assisted greatly in addiction recovery, boosting self-esteem and reducing anxiety and stress levels, while also allowing the artist the space to go inward and address and resolve any personal conflicts they may be facing. This past spring, the Tulalip Problem Gambling program hosted an art class at the Healing Lodge where they asked the participants to ‘paint from the soul rather than from their brain’.
“We really wanted to have something new they can learn, and use their gifts and talents they didn’t even realized they had, and put their energy into that,” said Problem Gambling Counselor, Robin Johnson. “We were really amazed at how good their attention, questions and interest were during the first session. We went for two hours and we didn’t even get to the painting.”
Problem Gambling enlisted Tulalip tribal creative, Monie Ordonia to instruct the class and the Healing Lodge residents loved her energy. Because of the great interaction between student and teacher, and all the positive results and feedback of the first class, the Problem Gambling program presented the idea of the mural to the Healing Lodge residents and asked Monie to return and lend her good vibes and expertise to the participants.
Said Monie, “We had the residents do sketches and the question posed to them was, ‘what if instead of surviving addiction, we go past that and thrive?’ We already survived, so what’s the next step? It’s to thrive and become an empowered citizen. To thrive and use that as their legacy. This mural is part of their legacy, to help others recognize that they can also thrive through the Healing Lodge. That’s how these images came out, they were all sketched by the residents who were here at the time.”
Robin and Monie both explained that the residents at the Healing Lodge often change and many of those artists who started the project are no longer staying at the lodge. However, the new residents were happy to pick-up where the others left off and continue the project.
On one side of the mural are four drawings, including a shark-whale and a ‘star-eyed’ mask, created by previous residents at the Healing Lodge, that Monie expanded in size and transferred to the panel-canvas. The other side of the mural depicts a Tulalip Canoe Family on the waters of the Salish Sea, with their paddles facing up and an eagle soaring in the distance.
“I feel welcomed. I feel good. I actually feel comfortable coming here and doing something like this. I really enjoy it,” expressed Tulalip artist Justine Moses. “I think it’s important for recovery, it helps us connect to our inner-selves, spiritually. And it’s cool just to see the art come out. Even if we mess up, it still looks good.”
The Healing Lodge was first established in 2015 and has helped both Tulalip tribal members and those enrolled with other tribal nations attain and maintain a healthy and sober lifestyle. Healing Lodge Resident Aide, Desa Calafiore stated, “The Tulalip Healing Lodge is a clean and sober living home for tribal members. I believe it helps people greatly. I think it’s great for the community. We have some real success stories come out of here. We offer groups, meetings, stability, cultural events. It gives them a chance to be around clean and sober people in a safe environment.”
Desa went on to explain that people often find a new passion in normal, everyday activities while on the road to recovery and self-discovery such as art. And as she mentioned previously, the Healing Lodge has many success stories, but she also stated that there were some instances where residents experienced setbacks as well, but quickly noted that this is often a necessary part of recovery. This is also a lesson that Monie is sure to incorporate in all off her teachings.
Monie shared, “One of my biggest lessons is reminding them there are no mistakes. Mistakes are stepping stones to bring you to a new choice. When you realize it’s not about being perfect, it’s about opening up that outlet and letting your creative energy flow, that leads the way to remembering who you are and how powerful you are as a creator. So when you can activate that creative source within you, now you’re also awakening that freedom of choice, am I going to choose something that imprisons me like addiction, or am I going to choose something that empowers me, something creative that feeds the soul rather than the addiction?”